The Hartley Blog

What's inside?

2011-07-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

Inside every girl is a young woman waiting to blossom.
Inside every boy is a fireman or engine driver bursting to be revealed.
Inside every skinny woman is an average-build woman hiding in the shadows.
Inside every fat woman is a skinny one trying to get out.
Inside every skinny man is a muscular man hoping to be seen.
Inside every fat man is another fat man saying, “Who cares?”

©July 2011 Lionel Hartley

The Measure of Friendship

2011-06-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

Friendship is not measured
By day or by year
Nor by miles or kilometers
By far or by near...
Nor by rule or by dictate
Command or by law
Nor freedom from argument
Disagreement or war.
Friendship is not even measured
By how much we share
But by love and concern
And showing we care.

Feeling down-in-the-mouth?

2011-04-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, a spelling error that I noticed in a PowerPoint slide of Newton’s hymn Amazing Grace provided my journal with an interesting object lesson (not to be read at mealtime).

In the first verse of the hymn a line on the screen read: “That saved a retch like me” instead of “That saved a wretch like me”.

A wretch (spelled with a W) is one for whom we feel sorry whereas a retch (spelled without a W) is that which is spued out of the mouth.

However, this lapsus calami may still have been quite biblical.

Leviticus 18:25 & 28 speaks of the land vomiting out its evil inhabitants and Leviticus 20:22 speaks of the obedient ones not being vomited out of the land.

In Job 20:15 we read the words of one of Job’s “friends”, Zophar the Naamathite. Zophar’s discourse upon the certain misery of the wicked includes the expression, “He hath swallowed down riches, and he shall vomit them up again: God shall cast them out of his belly.” (Which is just another way of saying that wickedness is a retch.)

After the well-known expression “[As a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he” the proverb continues, “ Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee. The morsel which thou hast eaten shalt thou vomit up, and lose thy sweet words. (Proverbs 23:7,8)

Proverbs 25:16 warns against eating too much honey (remembering that honey, according to Proverbs 24:13, is good for you.) confirming that too much of a good thing is bad for us. (This warning is repeated in Proverbs 25:27.)

Revelation 3:16 reads, “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” This is the most unequivocally definitive verse likening us (embarrassingly) to vomit!

However the most reassuring verse in the Bible in relation to us being a retch is found in Jonah 2:10 where God caused Jonah the wretch (spelled with a W) to become Jonah the retch (spelled without the W) in order to give Jonah a second chance. It says “And the LORD spake unto the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land.” Jonah then changed from retch to revivalist, from throw-up to show up, from puke to preacher, from sick to sermoniser, from filled with spew to filling the pew, in short, Jonah was called from the vomit by God to the vocation of God.

Finally, if you’re feeling down-in-the-mouth over this, remember Jonah. He came out all right!

-- Lionel Hartley ©14 April 2011

A Camper’s Primer

2011-04-02T18:25:00.000-07:00

I received an email today requestiong a copy of a piece that I wrote almost half-a-century ago called "A Camper’s Primer". I have located a copy for posting here. Here is is:

"A Camper’s Primer Puppetry Script" by Lionel Hartley, Stereo Publishing Co, Christchurch, ©April 1963, © renewed and updated to reflect more recent technology 2006, © 2011.
Hi. I'm your camping instructor. I am very qualified to teach you as I spent an entire Wednesday afternoon in a tent in my lounge-room braving all sorts of weather as I watched the BBC documentary "Pokey Dog Goes Wilderness Watching" with David Egg-in-burrow and Pokey the Plastic Poodle. I also crossed a busy carpark in the rain with bare feet! Listen carefully and I will give you the best advice any camper could possibly wish for. Here is a Camper's Primer in three easy lessons:
Lesson 1. Everything you need for survival in the wilderness must be carried on your back. You will fare best if you strap on an experienced camper.
Lesson 2. One skill all campers must have, is that of finding food in the wild. Always make sure you are no more than four minutes from a supermarket.
Lesson 3. Contrary to popular belief, electricity cannot be generated in the wild by rubbing two dry wires together. Lesson 4 (I know I said there were only three, but that was to grab your attention. Actually there are 29!!!)
Lesson 4. If you should find yourself lost in the wild, remember it is not considered good form to call out for your Mummy.
Lesson 5. A good rule to remember when packing your overnight bag is “Take nothing but photographs: leave nothing but footprints.” A second rules states that: There are two things you should never take on camping trips -The first is “too much”, and the second, “too little”.
Lesson 6. Proper nourishment is vital if you plan to trek over long distances. You can eat well and avoid delays if your partner will agree to carry the food while you munch on it.
Lesson 7. Always leave a campsite early in the morning. You will then have plenty of daylight later when you return to look for the things you left behind.
Lesson 8. Never worry about cooking plants you have found growing in the wild. You are perfectly safe as long as you don’t try to eat any.
Lesson 9. Photographs will remind you of just how much fun you had while living in the rugged outdoors. This is an excellent reason for not taking any.
Lesson 10. Cleanliness is important - a clean camper is a happy camper. He is happy because others in the party will let him sleep in the tent.
Lesson 11. Many campers are concerned about getting a stiff neck from sleeping all night on hard ground. Don’t worry. It is impossible to sleep all night on hard ground!
Lesson 12. Scissors should be carried at all times to modify trousers or sleeping bags that stretch in the rain.
Lesson 13. If you carry an umbrella, make sure it is packed in the bottom of your ruck-sack to prevent the likelihood of it ever getting wet.
Lesson 14. Rope tying is a valuable skill which can be practiced on your pyjama cord during those restless nights.
Lesson 15. Holes punctured in the roof of your tent will allow undesirable odours to leave the tent without clogging the doorway.
Lesson 16. Unless a semi-trailer is following you up the mountain, you should endeavour to pack no more than you would require if you planned on staying outdoors for twenty-five years at a time or more.
Lesson 17. Sponge cakes and custard pies should be packed in the top of your soiled laundry bag to have on hand to poison dangerous wild animals that you may meet in Australian wildernesses, such as giant bats, vampires, goblins, and boogie monsters.
Lesson 18. For ease of carrying, no more than 15 kilometres of electric cable (for your TV, or blow-wave hairdryer) should be carried on any given excursion.
Lesson 19. Never put a metal billy in your portable electric oven unless you don't intend switching it on.
Lesson 20. Because of the risk of "a-chillyback" syndrome, it is unadvisable to carry a full size refridgerator on your back when climbing up-hill - simply carry a stocked bar fridge, an ice cooler, a medium sized deep freezer, and an ice-packed chilly-bin or two.
Lesson 21. Contrary to popular opinion, it is possible to cram an entire scout-troup under a single umbrella without one person getting wet PROVIDED it is not raining.
Lesson 22. Automobiles should not be used when abseiling as the wheels are likely to be tyred.
Lesson 23. Video remote control units cannot be used to hasten, slow-down or pause an abseiler in descent. Scissors applied to the top of the rope have a more dramatic effect.
Lesson 24. A rope and a rubber bone are better fare than a plastic raincoat when the weatherman predicts that it will be raining cats and dogs. Hailing taxicabs is an unlikely occurance in the wilderness, but be prepared for reigning monarch butterflies.
Lesson 25. Orienteering using only a magnetic compass is best conducted in the safe confines of your tent to reduce the possibility of loosing your way before you loose your mind.
Lesson 26. Be sure to take your Bible on your camping trip. To avoid doctrinal error, take also a comprehensive Bible concordance, The Selected Writings of Pious Saints and an assortment of Bible dictionaries. A Bible handbook or set of commentaries may also prove useful. The 250 volume set of the International Encyclopaedia of Religion in hard binding would be a good choice, along with a canvas edition of "St. Paul's Tent Making Tips".
Lesson 27. Warning, submarine testing has proven that chocolate sponge cake and salted potato crisps are not waterproof over 5,000 feet above sea level if it is raining.
Lesson 28. After any accident you may be unlucky enough to succumb to, please check if your first-aid kit is in order. A compact mountaineering first-aid kit should contain at least one Doctor and two nurses, along with sundry medical supplies: Eg. an X-ray machine, CAT scanner, pathology and pharmaceutical laboratories and assorted bandages, splints, beds, etc.
And finally, Lesson 29. One sure way to camp out and still have all the comforts of home is to camp out at home.
Happy Camping.

Lionel Hartley

When Love is Feeling Sick

2011-03-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time
Love was feeling poorly,
So he went to the Doctor
On Monday, bright and early
To see what alchemy would cure the pain
And light up the love in his life again.

In order to have a healthy love
A love that's warm and close
The doctor prescribed the giving of love
And if that doesn't work?
Double the dose.

-- Lionel Hartley
First published in Tiger's Journal, Christchurch, New Zealand, April 1998

The answer to any question

2011-03-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

I was asked by the editorial team of the University of Canterbury's Response Magazine in July 1980 if I could write a single answer that could be used to answer any question.
Here is what I submitted for publication in the September 1980 issue:
"Here is my politically correct standard home-grown generic off-the-shelf domestic answer: 'Personally, I absolutely definitely feel that maybe it could possibly be the considered opinion that, taking everything into account, and weighing up all the pro's and con's, there is a general consensus that, as far as can be known, there is no conclusive answer to this question, as yet. Tentatively speaking of course, although I would like to stress that this is only my opinion and I'm not claiming this is the be all and end all as it's an interesting question that, at least, should stimulate debate.'

-- Lionel Hartley"

A New Commandment

2011-03-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

On my face book page, a reader asked, “What did Jesus mean when he said he was giving us a New Commandment (John 13:34)? What was wrong with the 10 Commandments that He had to give a new one?”

Immediately prior to Jesus telling the well-known story of the Good Samaritan, we read in Luke 10:25-28 “And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? 26) He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. And he [Jesus] said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.”
A child was asked, “What was the first commandment?” To which he replied, “The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.” This is not what the Bible says.
The Ten Commandments can be easily divided into two sections — the first four (Exodus 20:1-7) relate to how we love God and the latter six (Exodus 20:8-17) relate to how we love each other. The lawyer’s answer encapsulated these two sections – the first with the phrase, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind” and the second with the expression “Thou shalt love … thy neighbour as thyself.” So, in summary, the last six of Ten Commandments are (as it were) one command: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (See Leviticus 19:18). The Apostle Paul writing to the Church in Roman said, “… if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” (Romans 13:9-10)
There was nothing wrong with the ‘old command’ per se, but the problem was in the way that we applied it. This ‘old commandment’ refers to a particular way of loving others — that is, as we love ourselves. Sadly, most of us don’t really love ourselves a great deal. True, we are naturally selfish and think of ourselves before others, but we often don’t take very good care of our bodies, our minds, and our spiritual condition. Jesus recognised this state of affairs and knew that a command to love others as poorly as we love ourselves was inadequate, since we didn’t really know what love is. Jesus came to demonstrate in a very tangible way ‘what love is.’ “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us.” 1 John 4:10) Therefore He could say that the way we should love is not so much the way that we love ourselves, but the way that He loved us — unconditionally. This is what is recorded in John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
In her book ‘The Desire of Ages’, author E. G. White penned these words in 1898, “In this last meeting with His disciples, the great desire which Christ expressed for them was that they might love one another as He had loved them. Again and again He spoke of this. ‘These things I command you,’ He said repeatedly, ‘that ye love one another.’ His very first injunction when alone with them in the upper chamber was, ‘A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.’ To the disciples this commandment was new; for they had not loved one another as Christ had loved them.” (Page 678)
-- Lionel Hartley.

The Leaven of the Spirit

2011-03-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today I was asked for a copy of a poem that I wrote in July 1997 that appeared in a local newsletter.
Here is the poem:

The Leaven of the Spirit
Lord, You are the bread of life.
Make me, Lord, a slice of thee;
May life for me be Spirit filled -
The leaven swelling up in me.

The silent unseen working
Transforming lazy flour
Into holy air-filled bubbling life;
Risen, baked, and given power!

So life no longer is a loaf
Of wasted energy.
Lord, may the crumbs I leave behind,
Draw other souls to Thee.

-- Lionel Hartley 22/7/97

No other gods before me...

2010-03-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Question: When God says not to have other gods BEFORE him (Exodus 20:3), is he saying we have to "clean up our act" before coming to Him, and is He suggesting that it is okay to have others AFTER accepting him?

In answer to the first part, the preceding verse (Vs 2 - I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.) says that He has already accepted us BEFORE he makes the demand regarding other gods.

In answer to the second part, "before" is not just before having God, but also includes having no gods "as-well-as" having God as our god.

'Before' is made up of two Hebrew words 'al (Strong's Concordance #5921) and paniym (Strong's Concordance #6440) and these encompass both before, during, and after!

Strong's Concordance # 5921. 'al, al; prop. the same as H5920 used as a prep. (in the sing. or plur., often with pref., or as conj. with a particle following); above, over, upon, or against (yet always in this last relation with a downward aspect) in a great variety of applications (as follow):--above, according to (-ly), after, (as) against, among, and, X as, at, because of, beside (the rest of), between, beyond the time, X both and, by (reason of), X had the charge of, concerning for, in (that), (forth, out) of, (from) (off), (up-) on, over, than, through (-out), to, touching, X with.

Strong's Concordance # 6440. paniym, paw-neem'; plur. (but always as sing.) of an unused noun [ paneh, paw-neh'; from H6437]; the face (as the part that turns); used in a great variety of applications (lit. and fig.); also (with prep. pref.) as a prep. (before, etc.):-- + accept, a (be-) fore (-time), against, anger, X as (long as), at, + battle, + because (of), + beseech, countenance, edge, + employ, endure, + enquire, face, favour, fear of, for, forefront (-part), form (-er time, -ward), from, front, heaviness, X him (-self), + honourable, + impudent, + in, it, look [-eth] (-s), X me, + meet, X more than, mouth, of, off, (of) old (time), X on, open, + out of, over against, the partial, person, + please, presence, prospect, was purposed, by reason, of, + regard, right forth, + serve, X shewbread, sight, state, straight, + street, X thee, X them (-selves), through (+ -out), till, time (-s) past, (un-) to (-ward), + upon, upside (+ down), with (-in, + stand), X ye, X you.

Exodus 20:3
(NRSV) You shall have no other gods before me.
(NIV) "You shall have no other gods before me.
(KJV) Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

So God accepts us "as we are" and doesn't leave us there, but helps us grow by wanting us to remain true ONLY to Him.
--Lionel Hartley

Having a handicap

2009-04-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

Having a Handicap.
I sit writing this, I reflect on a question that I was asked this very day regarding coping with what he described as 'a handicap'. Here is how I truthfully answered the enquirer. "Many decades ago when I was a child at primary school, I would rather read than participate in sporting activities. However at the school's annual sports carnival, running races were mandatory for all students. My teacher, a Miss Pierre, realised that I would be unlikely to run competitively against my classmates who spent every opportunity at recess and lunchtime to run and play in the school playgrounds while I sat and read books. So Miss Pierre took me to one side and said, 'Lionel, today for your race I am giving you a handicap.''What's that?', I asked.'It's a head start! When I start the race I will tell you to go first and then I will blow the whistle for the rest of the class to start running.'Well, I still came in last in the race, but I have always remembered that to have a handicap is to have a head start."
-- Lionel Hartley (Reprinted from an editorial written 3rd July 2005)

The Batrachian Preacher

2008-02-12T13:41:00.000-08:00

"Every morning the rooster crows…"
(Now hang-on-a-minute – that’s not how it goes!)
Every morning when the rooster should crow,
(If we had one, that is, and I ought to know),
At the first glimpse of sun (or artificial light
Streaming from my window bright)
A Loud-mouthed Frog in the drainpipe, sings;
It’s voice in haunting echo rings
Up, up the drain-pipe (or is it down?)
He (she?) sings a song to wake the town.

ö
‘Though lacking the rooster’s plumage rare—
Bold colours of feathers, suffused with hue
The early-morning voice is there:
With a ‘croak-croak-croak’…
Not a ‘cock-a-doodle-doo’!
Not sunrise-silhouetted on a distant fence
But in a gloomy drainpipe,
Hidden from my vision
This songster chants his rousing call—
Complete with a moral,
If I stop to listen.

ö
"Just as Apostle Peter was shocked to reality
At the prophesied rooster’s cry,
The ‘croak-croak-croak’ from the unseen throat
Is a wake-up shock to reality’s call
Of the near-coming judgement to face us all."
Time to get up and confess our denial,
To be reconciled, start life anew—
By confession bold and honesty rare;
By penitence true and submission too,
And acceptance of forgiveness not withheld
(A gift freely offered, pre-paid by His blood)
To restore our relationship with a loving God
Who cares enough to preach to me
Through a noisy sun-up Frog.

Disappointments & Frustrations

2007-11-25T15:21:00.005-08:00

A while ago I sought a valuation on a house we had for sale in the Brother Mountains.
Unfortunately, when I went to the house (A six to eight hour trip) and waited for the agent to arrive at the designated time, he failed to show up.

A telephone call to his office the next day confirmed an alternative time and I waited at the house another day for him. He failed to show up again.

I returned to town and telephoned again, but his secretary insisted that I come in personally to discuss it with him.

Having just driven all night, I chose to telephone a different Real Estate and requested an appraisal (as they were not in a position to provide a full valuation). A time was confirmed and I returned to the house and waited. He also failed to show up. When I contacted him by telephone from the village in the mountains and bemoaned the fact that I had made a special trip, he shrugged it off by claiming that he was no longer interested in domestic properties as he had more than enough rural properties to keep him busy.

I returned to town again and contacted yet another Real Estate Agent (part of a large franchise chain). The agent was not available when I called (twice) and did not return my calls. I located his website on the Internet and requested an appraisal by email. To this also he failed to reply.

I asked the local Real Estate under the same franchise in our town to organise an appraisal by this third illusive Real Estate, and they telephoned him and asked him to contact me, which he did not.

I then sent an email via the Internet to the Real Estate Franchise Head Office and complained. They sent me a reply saying my email would be forwarded to the said Real Estate Agent. I still have not heard back from either of them.

I finally contacted a tiny one-man Real Estate Agency and was given a date for an appraisal. I again went to the house and waited for the agent to arrive at the designated time. (I even telephoned him again in the morning to make sure he had not forgotten).

He was to arrive at 4:00pm. At 6:00pm I telephoned him again and he apologised, saying he had been delayed at a rural property some considerable distance away. He assured me that he would be there "first thing in the morning, before he opened his office".
By 11:00am he still had not arrived and I once again telephoned. He apologised, saying he had forgotten, but would be there later in the day.

He came at around 1:30pm, only FOUR MONTHS after my first frustrating attempt at moving Real estate Agents.
Although I have waited impatiently for the Agent's coming and have been disappointed repeatedly, I know that when Jesus says that He is coming, I don't have to spend $100 on petrol and drive up to the mountains to meet Him. I don't have to wait impatiently with my watch in my hand, wondering if He will show up or not. In fact, He has promised to return (and I believe Him), and He has been courteous enough not to frustrate me with a schedule. He simply said 'soon', and 'occupy until I come'. This sure takes the pressure off my waiting. And even though I want His 'soon' to be sooner, if we are ready, we won't be frustrated or disappointed.

Making Our Lord's Prayer Ours.

2007-11-25T15:21:00.004-08:00

Our Father, the most understanding of parents><> Which art in heaven, but neglects not Thy earth,><> Hallowed be Thy name, and let me not take it in vain.><> Thy Kingdom come, and let me be subject to Thee><> Thy will be done. Please show me what I can do><> On earth as you prepare me for Heaven. ><> Give us this day (let me not fret over the next)><> Our daily bread for our bodies, our souls and our minds,><> And forgive us with the same willingness that we forgive others!><> Lead us not into temptation (and chide us when we lead ourselves)><> But deliver us from evil through the leading of Your word And through our daily commitment to talk with you.><> For Thine is the Kingdom — Thy Kingdom in my life and through eternity><> And the power and the glory are to be ascribed to you alone><> forever (beginning NOW)! Amen. — © Lionel Hartley (From Matthew 6:9-13)

Is Your Heart Touched?

2007-11-25T15:21:00.003-08:00

A ballet dancer, who had been badly burned in a back-stage fire and consequently suffered with severe injuries, was determined to return to the profession she loved as a teacher. Finally, after a great struggle and many setbacks, she succeeded. When someone asked her why the accident had not made her bitter and discouraged, a distant look came into her eyes and after some consideration she replied, "Well, I suppose it's because those flames never touched my heart."

You know you're a missionary kid (MK) when . . .

2007-11-25T15:21:00.002-08:00

You're an expert on the quality of airline travel. ~ You speak two languages but can't spell either. ~ You have a time zone map next to your telephone. ~ You have friends from or in 29 different countries. ~ Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to . . . " five or more times. ~ You never take anything for granted. ~ You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas. ~ You watch National Geographic specials and recognise someone. ~ You see a movie set in a foreign country, and you know what the nationals are really saying into the camera. ~ You realize what a small world it is, after all. [From www.InternetForChristians.com]

Blest Hope

2007-11-25T15:21:00.001-08:00

When the final enemy breaches home
And breaks the quivering silver chord
When the clods of the valley fall
Like lead upon the sorrowing soul
When comforting sympathetic words
Like icicles cold are heard

Then maybe, the only hope words
That we shall see, are the ones that say
That the Lord Himself shall descend one day
And the dead in Christ arising first
From 'neath those clammy clods shall burst
And together ne'er to part, we shall rise
To meet our Saviour in the skies.

— The late Bruce Whittaker, Poems & Prose by Bruce of Farrants Hill, L&R Hartley, Murwillumbah, 2000, p9. Available from L&R Hartley Merchandising

Welcome

2007-11-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

It seems these days that you take your life in your hands just to purchase some flowers. I was in a shop recently, purchasing a bunch of roses for my wife, when an elderly lady (whom I presume to have been short-sighted) came alongside me at the flower display.
Unaware of my presence she dramatically withdrew a large bunch of flowers from one of the buckets on the display and promptly emptied most of the water from the bucket down the leg of my trousers and into my shoe. I bent forward and glared into her back, perhaps grateful that she couldn't see the manner in which my face registered how I felt. Still unaware that I existed, she realised that the bunch of flowers she had selected was dripping water and she proceeded to shake it in the air behind her back. My grimacing face collected an assortment of petals, decaying leaf matter and a further supply of cold water.
Having imagined that she was purchasing the flowers to benefit someone, the last thing I could possibly do, would be to ruin her day, so I quietly sloshed away. (It just goes to show that even purchasing flowers can be a dangerous affair!) It is hoped that this new BLOG will benefit someone, even more than a bunch of flowers. We welcome your feedback — even an occasional slosh of cold water.