Practical
Tips for Getting Along With Others
1) Smile
(Proverbs 17:22)
A smile is a little curve that sets thing
straight. There's an old saying that says if you keep a smile on your face till
ten o'clock, you'll smile all day. If you aren't in a good mood, or aren't
ready to interact, simply wearing a smile can help you to change. A smile is
welcoming to others, and you become more approachable just by showing yours. If
you’re happy and you know it, notify your face.
2)
Think First (Proverbs 20:18)
Think before speaking or acting. Will you
hurt someone if you continue? Are you reacting out of hurt, fear, or anger?
What will saying or doing what you're thinking accomplish? If nothing good can
come of your words or actions, don't express them.
3) Listen
(1 Samuel 3:9-10)
Active listening is the most important
thing anyone can do to get along with others. This means paying attention to
the person speaking, and giving proper responses. Pay attention to, and
remember, the names of the people you talk to and one or two details about the
conversations you have. Only turn the conversation to yourself after you have
talked about the other person's interests.
4) Take
an Interest in Others (Proverbs 3:27)
Ask people questions. Find out how they are
doing. Find out what they are doing. Find out where their interests lie. After
asking questions, encourage people to expand on their answers. In future
conversation, follow up on what you've learned from them, refer back to
previous discussions.
5) Seek
Out Others (Luke 19:10)
Remember that other people are as shy,
nervous, and insecure as you are. Some are more so. If you see someone who is
standing apart from the crowd, someone who looks lost or out of place, approach
them. Introduce yourself and ask his or her name. Ask a friendly, open-ended
question to stimulate conversation. To make a friend, be one.
6) Be
Polite (Matthew 7:12)
Many people seem to feel that politeness
and manners are old-fashioned. They are not. Practicing good manners is just
one way of letting people know that we care about them. Courtesy never goes out
of style. Simple things like "Please" and "Thank you" go a
long way.
7) Be
Consistent (Proverbs 6:16-19)
Being consistent encompasses a wide variety
of things. The most important ones, however, are keeping promises and being
someone that others can count on. If you want others to count on you, behave
with integrity at all times. This means avoiding hypocrisy and conducting
yourself in such a way that you always stay true to your sense of morality. Keeping
promises is very important if you want to get along with others. Reneging on
your word - even just once - will cause people to doubt what you say in the
future.
8) Be
Yourself
Recognize and accept your limitations. This
is not a free ticket to behave badly. Crudeness, insults, and selfishness are
not limitations - they are choices. If you choose them, be prepared that people
will generally not like you.
9) Take
Time for Yourself (Mark 6:31)
Everyone needs to recharge sometimes. Learn
to recognize when you need to get away from people, and make time to do so.
Whether curling up with a book and some hot cocoa, or going on a solitary walk,
make sure you have ‘on-my-own’ time as often as you need it.
10)
Respect Yourself and Others (1 Peter 2:17)
Without exception, give everyone respect.
Treat each person as the human being they are. This includes yourself. If you
have no respect for yourself, you have no respect to give. In order to love our
neighbours as ourselves we must have a healthy love for ourselves first. Hero worship
is not respect. Respecting a person does not mean you have to respect, condone
or approve of that person's choices or actions.
11) Empathy
(Proverbs 24:17)
People have the gift of imagination. Seeing
yourself in another person's life is a great way to use it. Imagine how you
would feel in a situation similar to one someone is describing. Of course, you
can't know precisely how another person feels, but empathy can get you close.
12) Welcome
Diversity (1 Samuel 16:7)
Every person has had unique experiences
that have helped shape who they are. Every culture shares similarities and
differences. When meeting someone who seems different from you, keep an open
mind. You probably aren't as different as you think. Accept the differences that
you do discover. These are what keep life interesting and allow us to learn
from one another.
13) Agree
to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
Recognize that there will be times that you
will not agree with another person's views and opinions. Recognize, too, that
disliking a person's opinion is different from disliking that person. Accept
that his or her view is not yours, and move on.
14) Figure
Out Who/What Bothers You and Why
If someone bothers you, figure out what it
is about that person or their behaviour that you don't like. If it is something
he or she can't change (skin colour, disability, age, gender, etc.), figure out
a way to overcome your problem. If it is something that he or she can change,
but chooses to not, decide whether or not you can overcome being bothered by it.
If you decide you can, then change your attitude instead of trying to change
the other person (in reality, you can’t do that.) If you decide you cannot
overcome being bothered by it, minimize your interactions with that person.
Interactions with people who feed you with negativity are harmful. These
interactions, and your negative responses to them, make it more difficult to
have positive attitudes in your next interaction with anyone.
15) Don't
Gossip (1 Timothy 5:13)
A gossip usually makes a mountain out of a
molehill by adding some dirt. Don't listen to gossip about others. Don't gossip
about others. Don't worry about what is being said about you - let your virtues
speak for themselves. Although we can't keep people from having a negative
opinion of us, we can keep them from being right about it.
16) Criticism
is Creative Luke 6:41-42
Listen to and think about criticism that is
given to you. Even in the rare circumstance when criticism is given with the
intention of hurting, it is worth considering. Is there truth to what is said?
Is it something you can change? Is it something you want to change? Look at
criticism as an opportunity to grow and learn about yourself. Remember too that
criticising another's garden doesn't keep the weeds out of your own.
17) Don't
Take Things Personally
Often when someone has hurled a hurtful
comment or look at you, or has simply ignored you, it is not your problem, it
is theirs. The person may have other things on his or her mind and not be aware
of how he or she is coming across to others. Give each person a second chance.
18)
Be Supportive (Hebrews 10:24)
Whenever possible, offer encouragement and
support, kindness and praise. Praise people not only to their faces, but also
to the people who are important to them. Give credit to others whenever it is
due. If someone asks for your help, give it to him or her, steer him or her
toward a more appropriate source, or explain why you cannot help. If someone
seems to be struggling, ask if that person wants help. Accept that help may not
be wanted. Even when you know that the person is making a mistake, if that
person does not want help, don't press it. Mistakes are inevitable in life.
19)
No One Is More Important Than Anyone Else (Romans 12:3)
This seems to be a hard concept for most of
us. We've all known someone who thought they were the most important person in
the room, and we've all known someone who thought someone else (often a
celebrity) was more important than anyone else in the room. The truth is, no
one is more important than anyone else. Each person is unique and has something
to contribute. Don't get carried away with your sense of importance or with the
perceived importance of anyone else. This does not mean that some people are
not more important in your life than others, only that, as people, no one is
intrinsically more important than anyone else.
20) Focus
on the Positive (Philippians 4:8)
In thought and conversation, focus on
positive things. Rather than focusing on the things that bring you down, focus
on things that make you feel good and that shine in a positive light. Cheerful
conversation is much less draining than negative conversation.
(Each of these has been based on the Golden
Rule. - Matthew 7:12)
