Are we made in God's image?

Are we made in God's image?

Genesis 1:26 says, 'And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.'
I would like to suggest that we are actually made in Adam's image. Adam was made in God's image (Genesis 1:26) and at the Fall (Genesis 3:6) Sin (the image of Satan) entered Adam.

In Genesis 5:1 & 3 we read, 'This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him ... And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth.' So by creation Adam was made in God's image and by procreation we have been made in Adam's image.

I would like to suggest the following formula to understand Adam's image. GI+S =AI (God's image plus Sin equals Adam's image). This means that to restore the image of God in His creation (man), sin needs to be removed.  Adam's image less sin equals God's image. However, because sin is part of our nature (Adam's image) we cannot, of ourselves, remove sin and become again like God's image.

Satan's great lie to Eve suggested that she was not already in God's image and that partaking of the fruit would make her like God. In fact, the entering of sin did the opposite - it made her less God-like. In order for us to become God-like we need to be re-created, or born again. Something we cannot do for ourselves. However, God is willing to take the sin part of our nature and, with our permission (and only with our permission) start us on the journey of his re-creating us anew. When we invite him to change our image we acknowledge that He has already made provision through His Son Jesus.

God does this in several stages. When we confess our sinfulness he regards us as if we had been created and not procreated. He gives us a clean slate to work from (we call this Justification). We are born again, as if procreated as a newborn infant without sin. But as procreated beings, we still bear the image of Adam and so we are still inclined toward sin. So God continues to nurture us on to wholeness in Him for the remainer of our earthly life (we call this Sanctification). On the Great Resurrection Day, God will finalise this change by re-creating us in His image (We call this Glorification).

-- Lionel Hartley ©2007

Puppet Script- Jesus Loves Jonah

Jesus Loves Jonah - Puppet Script

Two puppets: Jonah and Dave.

Music Intro

Dave: Hey Jonah, I don't like to have to tell you this, but you don't smell very nice?

Jonah: Yeah, Yeah, Dave. I'm already down in the mouth. Tell it like it is!

Dave: Okay, Jonah, You stink!

Jonah: That's not what I meant. "Down in the mouth" means feeling sad. But you're right, Dave, I do smell a little stinky at the moment.

Dave: How come? Prophets aren't supposed to smell yucky!

Jonah: Well, God asked me to go to Brisbane and tell the people about His love.

Dave: Oh yeah, and you're telling me that God talking to you made you stink like rotten fish? God's doesn't have bad breath! That's a nasty thing to suggest.

Jonah: No, the stinky pong came later.

Dave: I knew there was something fishy about your story! Then you're not finished yet?

Jonah: Gimme a chance. Well, as I was saying, God wanted me to tell some nasty people in Brisbane about His love and I refused!

Dave: So that's when God chucked a bucket of smelly fish at you?

Jonah: No - that's when I ran away.

 Dave: You ran away from God?

Jonah: I got on a boat for New Zealand. Then when I fell asleep on the boat, God chucked a storm at me to wake me up.

Dave: A Storm-co trip?

Jonah: No, a real Wet and Wild, windy storm. Boy was that ever a storm! The sailors on the boat chucked stuff overboard.

Dave: Why would they do that?

 Jonah: To save the boat. And you know what? I got chucked overboard too.

Dave: Wow! That's scary.
But if you had been chucked into the ocean you would smell clean, not yucky fishy stinky!

Jonah: Yeah, well God knew that I can't swim so He rescued me.

Dave: He sent a yellow submarine?

Jonah: No.
Well, sort-of - actually He got this big fish to swallow me to save me from drowning.

Dave: Whew! Shark, the Herald Angelfish Sing?

Jonah: Not a shark, just a whopping-big fish. If you think I stink, then you've never sniffed the inside of the slimy tummy of a fish!

Dave: I don't want to.
That sounds like a super-fishal story. I mean, being swallowed by a fish doesn't seem like being saved from drowning, it sounds more like dinnertime at Seaworld.

Jonah: Not when God's in charge. Well, three days later the fish coughed me out onto Redcliffe Beach, and here I am.

Dave: Three days inside a wobbly, slimy, smelly, fishy belly doesn't sound like you had a whale of a time.
Whatcha gonna do now, Jonah? Tell the people about God's love?

Jonah: After a bath, I'm going to Brisbane to tell the people that God is angry with them and that He will destroy the city unless they change their ways.

Dave: That doesn't sound like a message of God's love?

Jonah: Well I want to sit at the top of the Gateway Bridge and watch the city burn!

Dave: What if the people choose to follow God?

Jonah: Rats! You would have to bring that up. I keep forgetting that God loves them and wants them to love him too.

Dave: He obviously loves you Jonah, even when you disobeyed Him. I mean, saving you from drowning and all.

Jonah: Yes, Dave. God is sad when we are naughty but He still keeps on loving us.

Dave: I don't want to make God sad.

Jonah: Neither do I.

Dave: Jonah, you're special. I mean, you're a Prophet chosen by God. We expect Him to love you. But does God also love us the same? Does God love these boys and girls?

Jonah: The Bible tells us that God is Love. Yeah, sure, God loves them just as much.

Dave: Boy, that's sure good news. Now don't feel down in the mouth, Jonah - when you're feeling sad, remember that God loves you.

Jonah: I will.

Dave: Well, we've gotta go now. You've got to go to Brisbane, and I have to go and feed my goldfish.

Jonah: Don't talk to me about fish!

Dave: Kids, when you're feeling 'down in the mouth', just remember old Jonah here. He came out all right! God loves you. Bye.

Jonah: Bye.

Music Closure

END

Script by Lionel Hartley 22 October 2007 for Hands Alive Puppets

Practical Tips for Getting Along With Others

Practical Tips for Getting Along With Others

1) Smile (Proverbs 17:22)

A smile is a little curve that sets thing straight. There's an old saying that says if you keep a smile on your face till ten o'clock, you'll smile all day. If you aren't in a good mood, or aren't ready to interact, simply wearing a smile can help you to change. A smile is welcoming to others, and you become more approachable just by showing yours. If you’re happy and you know it, notify your face.

2) Think First (Proverbs 20:18)

Think before speaking or acting. Will you hurt someone if you continue? Are you reacting out of hurt, fear, or anger? What will saying or doing what you're thinking accomplish? If nothing good can come of your words or actions, don't express them.

3) Listen (1 Samuel 3:9-10)

Active listening is the most important thing anyone can do to get along with others. This means paying attention to the person speaking, and giving proper responses. Pay attention to, and remember, the names of the people you talk to and one or two details about the conversations you have. Only turn the conversation to yourself after you have talked about the other person's interests.

4) Take an Interest in Others (Proverbs 3:27)

Ask people questions. Find out how they are doing. Find out what they are doing. Find out where their interests lie. After asking questions, encourage people to expand on their answers. In future conversation, follow up on what you've learned from them, refer back to previous discussions.

5) Seek Out Others (Luke 19:10)

Remember that other people are as shy, nervous, and insecure as you are. Some are more so. If you see someone who is standing apart from the crowd, someone who looks lost or out of place, approach them. Introduce yourself and ask his or her name. Ask a friendly, open-ended question to stimulate conversation. To make a friend, be one.

6) Be Polite (Matthew 7:12)

Many people seem to feel that politeness and manners are old-fashioned. They are not. Practicing good manners is just one way of letting people know that we care about them. Courtesy never goes out of style. Simple things like "Please" and "Thank you" go a long way.

7) Be Consistent (Proverbs 6:16-19)

Being consistent encompasses a wide variety of things. The most important ones, however, are keeping promises and being someone that others can count on. If you want others to count on you, behave with integrity at all times. This means avoiding hypocrisy and conducting yourself in such a way that you always stay true to your sense of morality. Keeping promises is very important if you want to get along with others. Reneging on your word - even just once - will cause people to doubt what you say in the future.

8) Be Yourself

Recognize and accept your limitations. This is not a free ticket to behave badly. Crudeness, insults, and selfishness are not limitations - they are choices. If you choose them, be prepared that people will generally not like you.

9) Take Time for Yourself (Mark 6:31)

Everyone needs to recharge sometimes. Learn to recognize when you need to get away from people, and make time to do so. Whether curling up with a book and some hot cocoa, or going on a solitary walk, make sure you have ‘on-my-own’ time as often as you need it.

10) Respect Yourself and Others (1 Peter 2:17)

Without exception, give everyone respect. Treat each person as the human being they are. This includes yourself. If you have no respect for yourself, you have no respect to give. In order to love our neighbours as ourselves we must have a healthy love for ourselves first. Hero worship is not respect. Respecting a person does not mean you have to respect, condone or approve of that person's choices or actions.

11) Empathy (Proverbs 24:17)

People have the gift of imagination. Seeing yourself in another person's life is a great way to use it. Imagine how you would feel in a situation similar to one someone is describing. Of course, you can't know precisely how another person feels, but empathy can get you close.

12) Welcome Diversity (1 Samuel 16:7)

Every person has had unique experiences that have helped shape who they are. Every culture shares similarities and differences. When meeting someone who seems different from you, keep an open mind. You probably aren't as different as you think. Accept the differences that you do discover. These are what keep life interesting and allow us to learn from one another.

13) Agree to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable

Recognize that there will be times that you will not agree with another person's views and opinions. Recognize, too, that disliking a person's opinion is different from disliking that person. Accept that his or her view is not yours, and move on.

14) Figure Out Who/What Bothers You and Why

If someone bothers you, figure out what it is about that person or their behaviour that you don't like. If it is something he or she can't change (skin colour, disability, age, gender, etc.), figure out a way to overcome your problem. If it is something that he or she can change, but chooses to not, decide whether or not you can overcome being bothered by it. If you decide you can, then change your attitude instead of trying to change the other person (in reality, you can’t do that.) If you decide you cannot overcome being bothered by it, minimize your interactions with that person. Interactions with people who feed you with negativity are harmful. These interactions, and your negative responses to them, make it more difficult to have positive attitudes in your next interaction with anyone.

15) Don't Gossip (1 Timothy 5:13)

A gossip usually makes a mountain out of a molehill by adding some dirt. Don't listen to gossip about others. Don't gossip about others. Don't worry about what is being said about you - let your virtues speak for themselves. Although we can't keep people from having a negative opinion of us, we can keep them from being right about it.

16) Criticism is Creative Luke 6:41-42

Listen to and think about criticism that is given to you. Even in the rare circumstance when criticism is given with the intention of hurting, it is worth considering. Is there truth to what is said? Is it something you can change? Is it something you want to change? Look at criticism as an opportunity to grow and learn about yourself. Remember too that criticising another's garden doesn't keep the weeds out of your own.

17) Don't Take Things Personally

Often when someone has hurled a hurtful comment or look at you, or has simply ignored you, it is not your problem, it is theirs. The person may have other things on his or her mind and not be aware of how he or she is coming across to others. Give each person a second chance.

18) Be Supportive (Hebrews 10:24)

Whenever possible, offer encouragement and support, kindness and praise. Praise people not only to their faces, but also to the people who are important to them. Give credit to others whenever it is due. If someone asks for your help, give it to him or her, steer him or her toward a more appropriate source, or explain why you cannot help. If someone seems to be struggling, ask if that person wants help. Accept that help may not be wanted. Even when you know that the person is making a mistake, if that person does not want help, don't press it. Mistakes are inevitable in life.

19) No One Is More Important Than Anyone Else (Romans 12:3)

This seems to be a hard concept for most of us. We've all known someone who thought they were the most important person in the room, and we've all known someone who thought someone else (often a celebrity) was more important than anyone else in the room. The truth is, no one is more important than anyone else. Each person is unique and has something to contribute. Don't get carried away with your sense of importance or with the perceived importance of anyone else. This does not mean that some people are not more important in your life than others, only that, as people, no one is intrinsically more important than anyone else.

20) Focus on the Positive (Philippians 4:8)

In thought and conversation, focus on positive things. Rather than focusing on the things that bring you down, focus on things that make you feel good and that shine in a positive light. Cheerful conversation is much less draining than negative conversation.

(Each of these has been based on the Golden Rule. - Matthew 7:12)

Does God have an attitude problem?

Does God have an attitude problem?

Yes, but often the only attitude problem God has is mine, and the only problem that is too big for God to handle is the one that I withhold from Him!
I ask myself, ‘What is God’s attitude?’ His Word says, ‘ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.  And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.  And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity’ (Jeremiah 29:11-14a).
There are many things which hold us captive. There is an old saying, ‘
Walls do not a prison make.’ The things which hold us captive may be loosed by God working in our lives. Allowing Him to take control is the way we can have His attitude for ours. If God’s really got attitude, I’d like to have some too, wouldn’t you? He’ll give it if we ask  —  though maybe not the way we expect!
When I asked God for strength he gave me some trials to make me grow strong.
And I asked for a handout and God opened doors of opportunity.
When I asked Him for bravery, He gave me scary things to overcome.
Then when I asked for wealth, He gave me muscles and a mind to work.
When I asked Him for understanding, He gave me a few problems to solve.
So I asked God for love and understanding, so He showed me people who needed me.
In all I asked of Him I didn’t receive a thing that I wanted — and yet I lacked nothing I needed!
And because of God's attitude, neither will you!

© Lionel Hartley, 11/2007

Chronicles in the Life of Peter Blank, Part 1

The Genesis
Peter had waited three fourths of a year for this day. He hadn't necessarily planned it but he wanted it to happen and, although he was still bantam, he had the final say as to when the event would happen. And, true to form, he announced the intention to herald his arrival at the most inopportune time. His mother was many kilometres from the hospital where his siblings were born, and so the Mother, Father, and elder yet still infant brothers boarded their rattly old tin lizzie (a box-shaped Model-A Ford motorcar) which then gasped it's way over the hills to the nearest maternity hospital. A country stream and a gumboot aided in providing a refreshing drink to the car's overheated radiator at the crest of the first hill, a process which was repeated twice more before the anxious parents reached the seaside village where the hospital was located.
An inquiry at the local tavern revealed the horrifying news that the hospital could be found at the top of yet another hill, but this time the car showed no resistance to the added labour (no pun intended.)
Upon arrival, the expectant Mum was almost immediately assisted into the delivery room and within minutes Peter was demanding the first meal of his life-long insatiable appetite.
His Dad was quick to remind his Mum of the work that still awaited her at home and consequently a return journey back over the hills was commenced within an hour or so.
Rattling home in the dark, rain now pelting the windscreen, the utmost care was taken as Mum, Dad, newborn Peter and his two infant siblings journeyed homeward. Another route would have been chosen, if they had only known that the rain had washed away a section of the poorly sealed road ahead. But as they didn't know, and as the hole appeared rather suddenly, it was perhaps inevitable that the car land in it. Now we are not talking about a little pothole the size of the newborn Peter. This hole was so large that the car was completely inverted and landed in the bottom of the chasm, upside-down -- with the wheels level with the road above and the vehicle disappearing in the mud and water below. This was long before the advent of seat-belts and child safety restraints, and the family flew around the car, landing in a heap on the canvas padded roof. Only through his Mum holding Peter so closely was he spared a flight through the window. Miraculously, none were hurt in the tumble and a strange twist of Fate enabled their escape from the inverted vehicle: this car had the battery located under the floor and Peter's Dad had, a few hours earlier, replaced the battery. But because Peter had cued his Mother that he could not wait much longer to be born, his Dad had not had an opportunity to screw the floorboards back in place. This meant that when the car came to rest downside-up in the hole, the floorboards fell away leaving an escape route. Providence provided the circumstance; Opportunity revealed the occasion, Necessity motivated the action and, sadly, Coincidence received the credit. The lesson for Peter was not finished yet.


-- Lionel Hartley, Not Finished Yet -- Chronicles in the Life of Peter Blank
"This serial saga, although novel, is not a novel. It is merely a series of true-life episodes highlighting the extraordinary working of an extraordinary God in a very ordinary life. Each episode contained a lesson for Peter Blank, a lesson we can all learn, from a lesson-book life that is not finished yet."
As first appeared in FreEzine Magazine July 2000 ff

The Difference Between Men and Women

A fellow named Egbert is attracted to a woman named Maggie. He asks her out to dinner; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to a carols-by-candlelight program, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

           

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Maggie, and without really thinking, she says it aloud:

“Do you realise that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”

And then there is silence in the car.

To Maggie, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: O dear, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Egbert is thinking: Wow. Six months.

And Maggie is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Egbert is thinking... so that means it was... let’s see... December when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means... let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here!

And Maggie is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed even before I sensed it – that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Egbert is thinking: And I’m going have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say, it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It might be June, but it’s 27 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Maggie is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Egbert is thinking: They’ll probably say it’s only a 90-day warranty. Scumballs.

And Maggie is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me, a person who is in pain because of my self-centred, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Egbert is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and...

“Egbert,” Maggie says aloud.

“What?” says Egbert, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have...Oh dear, I feel so...” (She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Egbert.

“I’m such a fool,” Maggie sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Egbert.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Maggie says.

“No!” says Egbert, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that...it’s that I...I need some time,” Maggie says.

(There is a 15 second pause while Egbert, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) “Yes,” he says.

(Maggie, deeply moved, touches his hand.) “Oh, Egbert, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Egbert.

“That way about time,” says Maggie.

“Oh that,” says Egbert. “Yes.”

(Maggie turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) “Thank you, Egbert,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Egbert.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Egbert gets back to his place, he opens a bag of corn chips, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Maggie will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.  In painstaking detail, they will analyse everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Egbert, while playing tennis one day with a mutual friend of his and Maggie’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: “Norm, did Maggie ever own a horse?”

And that’s the difference between men and women.

Adapted from Building A Better Marriage, SalubrityÔ Seminars, 1981

The Elements of Effective Prayer

The Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) contains all the elements of effective prayer, best remembered by using the acronym A.C.T.S.: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication.

The 'Lord's Prayer' was addressed to: 'Our Father which art in heaven' (Vs 9a)
Starts with our Adoration: 'Hallowed be thy name' (Vs 9b)
Followed by our supplication for universal need: 'Thy kingdom come' (Vs 10a)
Followed by our Thanksgiving: 'Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven' (Vs 10b)
Followed by our supplication for physical need: 'Give us this day our daily bread' (Vs11)
Followed by our confession: 'Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors' (Vs 12)
Followed by our supplication for spiritual need: 'Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil' (Vs 13a)
Finishes with our Adoration: 'For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory' (Vs 13b)
Finalised by our affirmation: Amen (So be it!)

-- Lionel Hartley, Moral Responsibility, Stereo Publications, Christchurch, 1966 p20

(Matthew 6:9-13 KJV)  After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. 10) Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 11) Give us this day our daily bread. 12) And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

The difference between judgement and observation

To develop healthy boundaries it is helpful to make a distinction between being and behaviour by learning how to observe behaviour without making judgements about myself and others.
There is a huge difference between judgement and observation.  It is vital for me to observe other people's behaviour in order to protect myself.
That does not mean I need to make a value judgement about their being based upon their behaviour.  Judgement is saying, "that person is a jerk."  Observation is saying, "that person seems to be really full of anger."
The trap here is equating I did something bad therefore I am a bad person, or I made a mistake therefore I am a mistake.
Job makes this distinction in Job 2:10 by saying to his wife that she “speaks as one of the foolish women speak” (nebalah, pron: neb-aw-law) rather than actually calling her a fool (raca [Matthew 5:22]).

--Lionel Hartley, Setting Appropriate Boundaries, Seminar NNSW SDA Camp Meeting, 9 October 2007

Premarital Sex

The following letter is shared at the writer's request:

Dear Dr Hartley,
I am writing to thank you for you re-printed article on the current* issue of the Australian Singles Magazine which has helped me immensely.
I am also writing to share an experience I went through last year (when I was 19 years old) and I hope you will choose to share it with others that they too may learn as I did - sin has devastating consequences that can affect everyone around you.
One of my closest friends met the "man she was going to marry" a couple of years ago and really fell hard for this guy. He also told her that he loved her and she thought it was the "real thing".
Thinking she was going to marry him anyway, she gave in to him and sleep with him even though she was a Christian and knew it was wrong.
Her boyfriend was also a Christian. This relationship continued for several months, until he broke it off, and refused to even speak to her, saying, "You're no longer the girl I fell in love with, losing all respect for her because she'd slept with him.
She was understandably devastated and went into deep depression, crying for hours each night. She had given herself to this guy, thinking she was going to marry her, and now she felt used, betrayed and worthless,
She also knew she was out of fellowship with God and she was too ashamed to go back to Him. She felt she was too low for even God's forgiveness.
Several months later my friend was dead. She'd swallowed 80 sleeping tablets after hearing that her ex-boyfriend had gotten a girl pregnant. Realising he was having sex with someone else now and that what she'd given him wasn't precious to him obviously pushed her over the edge. She left me a letter and in it she states, "to die will resolve me from the hold (he) has on me".
I cannot put into words what I went through after her suicide, and I was not alone. I'm sure her mother suffered deeply and her other close friends hit the skids as I did. I jumped into many of the "mudholes" of life trying to fill the void she'd left, and escape my feelings. These included alcohol addiction, bulimia, anger at God, deep depression and even thoughts of suicide itself. After reading your article, finally I realised it was her decision and I shouldn't be ruining my life because she couldn't cope with hers. So I turned back to God and both me and her closest friend are trying to put our lives back together. I don't know how her ex-boyfriend reacted. I just hope he woke up to the dangers of premarital sex. This sin that seemed so private at the beginning ended up devastating many lives. I would never under any circumstances give up my virginity before marriage now, and I have seen first hand what it can do. God gave us these rules to protect ourselves - no only physically from disease, but also emotionally.
I hope that something good can come from her death by being a warning to others, to keep their pants on, and in the words of Christian group "DC Talk", "The innocence that's spent is gonna hurt you".
Thank you once again, Dr. Hartley and your reference to Dr. Dobson's book which I have read (I am writing to him too.) Your article and the book have been a big help to me in making right decisions how to get my life back on track, and set my goals in the right places.
Yours sincerely,
(Name withheld)

*(Aug 1986 Issue)

Disappointments & Frustrations

A while ago I sought a valuation on a house we had for sale in the Brother Mountains.
Unfortunately, when I went to the house (A six to eight hour trip) and waited for the agent to arrive at the designated time, he failed to show up.

A telephone call to his office the next day confirmed an alternative time and I waited at the house another day for him. He failed to show up again.

I returned to town and telephoned again, but his secretary insisted that I come in personally to discuss it with him.

Having just driven all night, I chose to telephone a different Real Estate and requested an appraisal (as they were not in a position to provide a full valuation). A time was confirmed and I returned to the house and waited. He also failed to show up. When I contacted him by telephone from the village in the mountains and bemoaned the fact that I had made a special trip, he shrugged it off by claiming that he was no longer interested in domestic properties as he had more than enough rural properties to keep him busy.

I returned to town again and contacted yet another Real Estate Agent (part of a large franchise chain). The agent was not available when I called (twice) and did not return my calls. I located his website on the Internet and requested an appraisal by email. To this also he failed to reply.

I asked the local Real Estate under the same franchise in our town to organise an appraisal by this third illusive Real Estate, and they telephoned him and asked him to contact me, which he did not.

I then sent an email via the Internet to the Real Estate Franchise Head Office and complained. They sent me a reply saying my email would be forwarded to the said Real Estate Agent. I still have not heard back from either of them.

I finally contacted a tiny one-man Real Estate Agency and was given a date for an appraisal. I again went to the house and waited for the agent to arrive at the designated time. (I even telephoned him again in the morning to make sure he had not forgotten).

He was to arrive at 4:00pm. At 6:00pm I telephoned him again and he apologised, saying he had been delayed at a rural property some considerable distance away. He assured me that he would be there "first thing in the morning, before he opened his office".
By 11:00am he still had not arrived and I once again telephoned. He apologised, saying he had forgotten, but would be there later in the day.

He came at around 1:30pm, only FOUR MONTHS after my first frustrating attempt at moving Real estate Agents.
Although I have waited impatiently for the Agent's coming and have been disappointed repeatedly, I know that when Jesus says that He is coming, I don't have to spend $100 on petrol and drive up to the mountains to meet Him. I don't have to wait impatiently with my watch in my hand, wondering if He will show up or not. In fact, He has promised to return (and I believe Him), and He has been courteous enough not to frustrate me with a schedule. He simply said 'soon', and 'occupy until I come'. This sure takes the pressure off my waiting. And even though I want His 'soon' to be sooner, if we are ready, we won't be frustrated or disappointed.

Making Our Lord's Prayer Ours.

 Making Our Lord's Prayer Ours


Our Father,
the most understanding of parents
Which art in heaven,
but neglects not Thy earth,
Hallowed be Thy name,
and let me not take it in vain.

Thy Kingdom come,
and let me be subject to Thee
Thy will be done.
Please show me what I can do
On earth as you prepare me for Heaven.

Give us this day
(let me not fret over the next)
Our daily bread
for our bodies, our souls and our minds,
And forgive us with the same willingness
that we forgive others!

Lead us not into temptation
(and chide us when we lead ourselves)
But deliver us from evil
through the leading of Your word
And through our daily commitment
to talk with you.

For Thine is the Kingdom
- Thy Kingdom in my life and through eternity
And the power and the glory
 are to be ascribed to you alone
forever (beginning NOW)!  Amen.


- Lionel Hartley, ©1999  (From Matthew 6:9-13)

Is Your Heart Touched?

A ballet dancer, who had been badly burned in a back-stage fire and consequently suffered with severe injuries, was determined to return to the profession she loved as a teacher. Finally, after a great struggle and many setbacks, she succeeded. When someone asked her why the accident had not made her bitter and discouraged, a distant look came into her eyes and after some consideration she replied, "Well, I suppose it's because those flames never touched my heart."

You know you're a missionary kid (MK) when . . .

You're an expert on the quality of airline travel. ~ You speak two languages but can't spell either. ~ You have a time zone map next to your telephone. ~ You have friends from or in 29 different countries. ~ Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to . . . " five or more times. ~ You never take anything for granted. ~ You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas. ~ You watch National Geographic specials and recognise someone. ~ You see a movie set in a foreign country, and you know what the nationals are really saying into the camera. ~ You realize what a small world it is, after all. [From www.InternetForChristians.com]

Blest Hope

When the final enemy breaches home
And breaks the quivering silver chord
When the clods of the valley fall
Like lead upon the sorrowing soul
When comforting sympathetic words
Like icicles cold are heard

Then maybe, the only hope words
That we shall see, are the ones that say
That the Lord Himself shall descend one day
And the dead in Christ arising first
From 'neath those clammy clods shall burst
And together ne'er to part, we shall rise
To meet our Saviour in the skies.

— The late Bruce Whittaker, Poems & Prose by Bruce of Farrants Hill, L&R Hartley, Murwillumbah, 2000, p9. Available from L&R Hartley Merchandising